When I was younger, I always thought I’d die single. Not because I was unsocial, ugly, stupid, or anything (at least I’d like to think I’m not), but simply because of my height. In the nineties, there weren’t many tall men around in my home country, and, me being me, I would never look at a man in “that” way if he was shorter.
Quite a few years on, I have been observing a significant shift in attitudes towards tall women. Or so it seems to me. It appears nowadays that there is not so much stigma attached to choosing a shorter man to be your life partner. I wonder whether I am wrong.
As a member of a few tall people’s groups on Facebook, I’ve been following numerous discussions on this topic with rising curiosity and decided to try and analyse them. Just how do people feel about this? Is it perceived as weird for a man to date/be married to a taller woman? Is it acceptable? Or maybe even fashionable?
Today, I will look at the comments made by tall group members on Facebook. Some of them may well read this and recognise their own words, but their anonymity is guaranteed. What I am interested in is opinions, not names. 🙂
So, what do women think about being with a shorter man?
The overwhelming majority of women report that they are happy to be with a shorter man. I won’t bore you with all comments posted on Facebook, as some of them are rather similar, and mostly/unanimously positive. For the purposes of this article, I have chosen to quote the best comments that got my attention (and, I must say, honest admiration!).
Happy to be with a shorter partner:
- Comfortable. I liked it.
- I’m 6’3″. My husband is 6′. He is my protector. It’s all in a man’s attitude or how he carries himself. He is definitely an Alpha male. That’s why we work together! It takes a man that’s very secure in his masculinity to be with a taller woman.
- I am 6’1″. Shortest man I’ve ever had a date with – 5’1″. You have to maintain your sense of humour and the man definitely has to be a secure person. It definitely draws attention – not like I need any help. And not shallow. The struggle is real to not feel like you are huge when it is a small man you are on a date with.
- I dated a couple of short guys. One 5′ 4″, one 5′ 6″. They loved that I was 6′. One wanted me to wear heels. If I had really cared for them, their height wouldn’t have mattered.
- Dated plenty of shorter blokes. Only a problem if HE has a problem. Never an issue for me. Sometimes other people laugh. Who cares!?
- Yes, if you are happy to constantly be analysed by others and asked the same tedious questions day in, day out.
- 5″ difference. We’ve been married 17 years. If I want a tall hug, he just stands up the stairs a step.
- I am married to one, much shorter and it’s fine.
- I personally don’t care about height in a relationship. If we have good chemistry, that’s all that matters.
- Been with my amazing 5’9″ husband for 25 years. I’m 6′. Don’t make height an issue. Love is the best protector.
- I’m 6’3″, dated a few guys who were an inch shorter, but generally it has always been 6’6″ guys. If the guy is shorter, he’s gotta have have a great charisma and massive confidence.
- It feels weird. I feel like the men and lots of people stare but I don’t want to potentially miss out on an amazing person because of shallow reasons. The shortest was 12 cm shorter than me.
- I’m 6′ and my partner is 5’8″. He is very comfortable with my height and our height difference – to the point that he is happy for me to wear heels if we go out.
- I had a partner for nearly 8 years who was 5’8″ and I’m 6’3″. Didn’t bother us. But is REALLY nice to have a partner the same height. We fit together better. In more ways than one!
- I am 6’1″ and dating guys who are 5’6″-5’7″ many times. It is actually very sexy for me to take on the not usual role… be in the more dominant side and just feel like a goddess.
- I always liked being with shorter guys.
Yes, but no thanks:
- I’ve dated shorter, but prefer not to.
- I’ve dated a couple of guys who where 2-3 inches shorter. I don’t really prefer it. I like super tall guys over 6’5″. I’ve dated a few but don’t know very many. Sometimes choices are limited. Beggars can’t be choosers…!
- I don’t MIND shorter, but I’d much prefer taller.
- I am 6’1″. I was babysitting two of my friends’ kids and they were with me in church one day. I had a friend of mine who is older than me by four years but 10″ shorter than me, sitting beside me. It felt like I had three children with me, not two. Yes, height matters. I’ve also dated shorter men, 5’8″ and 5’10”. Both were nice guys, but I could never be with them. One didn’t mind unless I wore heels and the other, well, only loved it because my breasts were at his eye level. Let’s just say it never got very far with either of them.
- I have dated shorter guys, even married one. But I prefer to date taller men.
- I hate the “stares”.
- I tried once. I can’t do it. Hence why I’m still single.
- Personally I say no. That’s just me. I like to feel protected and embraced and if you can’t reach me, it’s just not gonna work.
- I am not attracted to anyone smaller than me.
- Well, I’ve been with short guys before and it was awful, to be honest. I’m tired of being looked at like mutt and Jeff and I’m tired of wearing the pants all the time. I want a big guy that actually makes me feel like a woman, not a short one that makes me feel masculine.
- It is a problem for me. I really am not attracted to shorter men. Not to be rude or bluntly offensive; they just don’t cut it for me.
- I got a lot of abuse the two times I dated shorter guys. Abuse from random strangers. Never again. I got over it, was spat at by a group of short girls one night out with a shorter guy. The girls said, “Why you taking the short guys off us, go find another tall freak to get with!” Another time I just got a random guy come up to me and he said to the guy I was with, “Mate, don’t date giants, it’s just wrong, find someone normal.” Then I got just got the usual nasty tall people comments because my height was more obvious while I was stood next to a shorter guy. But it’s fine, guy I’m with now if 6’4 so I’m okay.
The vast majority of men share their love and admiration for tall women.
Like being with a taller women:
- I’d love to find a woman taller than myself.
- Sure, I’m 5’10” and the taller women I’ve dated all felt protected in my presence. I carry total confidence and power in my personality, I’ve been told. In the end they never had a problem with my height, even if they might have in the beginning.
- These women one day will understand that their focus on height only hurts their love life. Love, the right love is what matters. Not how you feel or perceive about his ability to protect based on height. A taller man gives no more security because he is tall. Common sense should over rule that inaccurate feeling. Good luck out there, tall ladies!
- I am 5’10”, usually date women taller than me. I love the attention we get. Very comfortable and used to it.
- I dig tall women, but I rarely see them out. But I’d definitely date a tall woman!
- 6’7″ here. It is simply more comfortable and natural with a woman closer to my height.
- I feel uncomfortable seeing taller women with shorter men.
Some really interesting thoughts:
- Yes, insecurity seems to plague a lot of people: short and tall. I guess I can thank my insane humour for diverting development of that trait. I was the shorter of the kids: brother is 6’5.5″, dad is 6’8″. I grew up in Louisiana, so you can imagine this Euro/Balkan kid compared to the height of the average 5’0″ Arcadian Frenchmen. It makes me lol just thinking about it. I look like a woman fighting the tide when I walk through a crowd here. I raise my arms up as to not elbow anyone in the face.
- I personally feel like shorter than average men who actively seek taller than average women tend to fetishize (yep it’s a word now) us. Or it’s over compensating: there’s a sense of “am I this guy’s version of a raised truck?”
This can be just the beginning of a longer conversation: about the stigma associated with being a tall woman. Nowadays, when body confidence is a very hot topic, there is rising interest in tall women, their liberation from social expectations and prejudice.
The internet has recently been flooded by photos of celebrities where the man is shorter than his partner: could this be the newest fashion trend in relationships?
More reading on this topic:
On balance, the scales heavily weight towards positive attitude for being with a taller woman. How liberating is this!
If you have your views on this, your thoughts are, as always, warmly welcome and anxiously expected!