Diary of a Whining Forty-Something Learning to Cycle. Vol. 4

I will be writing this diary forever. Seriously. I will never learn to ride a bike!

Although I swam through my first biking lesson with flying colours, it did seem a bit too good to be true. So it turned out. I must have had a stroke of what is known as beginner’s luck.

A few days after my first attempt, I optimistically decided to give it another go. All those purple-black bruises had just about got less sensitive to the touch, so – time to do it again. So I thought.

Little did I know that unhealed bruises hurt like hell if bashed again, so minutes into my lesson I was nearly in tears. As most women, I can be a drama queen, big time. And I was. Would be difficult not to be, though, when the damn pedal breaks your vein. Or so it felt, as the pain was so sharp and constant that it got my attention for the rest of the day. Fuck. I do have some medicines to hand, but it did scare the shit out of me. Would be a bit silly to end up in hospital for such a thing, and yet that would be very a realistic scenario for someone with a track record like mine.

You can’t avoid drama when your private parts are on fire, either. So no sex for a while, then. A definite no no.

My newly learned skills had all mysteriously disappeared – apart from the one I mastered to perfection. Hitting obstacles, remember how good I was at that? I still am. Oh yes.

Feeling like a complete idiot, this time I didn’t actually manage to do more than a couple of metres. Pedals were so bloody hard to push for some reason… Most likely because of all that rain. My tyres were digging into the grass – to make my life even more miserable.

All in all – total failure. Only positive thing was being able to take off on my own (most times). But I don’t think this is enough to make me want to try again. I totally suck.

This is why I decided to start this diary. Hoping that by writing about it I will face my fears more easily and somehow make myself do it. Maybe the support I receive from my readers will encourage me. Or maybe it will frighten me even more…

Anyway, right now I don’t feel like trying again. Lesson number one learned: wait until your bruises heal. Completely, that is. And it would probably help to restore your hurt pride – somehow. It’s all about attitude, isn’t it. A ‘can do’ approach is more likely to get you there, rather than feeling sorry for yourself.

Which I am very good at. I am. No point denying.

I did ask my tutor, what the hell is my problem today??

‘You know what your problem is?’, he said. ‘Worrying too much about your shit.’ Getting hurt, he meant.

Spot on. Not that I don’t have some valid reasons for that. With knee surgery coming up soon, as well as veins surgery (I know, pretty intense, isn’t it), it would help not breaking my veins and bruising myself. Vein surgery will bruise me enough as it is.

Yup, I do worry too much. Shall I call it a day, then??

Or maybe it’s a bit simpler. Riding a bike could wait until I get my shit sorted, before I wreck my legs again. After all, I want my health back, and hurting myself won’t help me too much with that.

And… I want my sex life back.


    • Oh!! I didn’t know there are such shorts, thanks. I’ve also been thinking of shin pads, but putting them on the inner part lf my leg, as this is where I hurt myself.


      • I second the padded shorts, they’re a great help!
        Also I find I have some days where I’m more confident on the bike (even now) than others… So having bad luck this time around shouldn’t mean giving up…

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I have a confession, I can’t ride a bike myself. I watch people riding their bikes, and they just look so free. I know I wanna experience it but I’ve always thought it’s too late to try now (not to mention I’ve been tested to have significant vestibular loss). But reading this today, you know what, I might just consider learning…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i can ride a bike, but now that I’m (how’d this happen?) 67, I don’t bother. And the truth is that I didn’t much bother when I was 37. It’s not that I’m surgically attached to my car. I walk a lot. I love walking. But biking? Too much traffic: narrow roads, speeding cars, blind turns. Too much like work–which walking isn’t, somehow.

    I’m all for doing new things, but I’ve come around to thinking that some fears aren’t worth addressing. I’ve gotten my fear of heights under control well enough that I can clean out the gutters and walk the coast path (picture cliffs, hills, lots of rock and surf below) without terror, but hang gliding? What’s the point?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, I did start wondering whether this particular fear should be left unaddressed. It took me a lot of time, effort, time off sick, etc. to learn to drive, but that is the best skill I have ever learnt. I don’t know whether biking is worth the hassle, to be honest, but will wait and see. Right now I guess I should leave it, as surgery is more important that satisfying my ego by learning to ride the bike. Thanks for this comment!


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