Body confidence as a tall person is a topic I feel very passionate about. Being tall does make us different, but do we also have to conform to certain aesthetic norms in order to feel attractive? That’s what I asked a few weeks ago in my post “Do Tall Women Have to be Tall to be Beautiful?” It got an amazing interest and response, which is why I decided to gather and systematise my readers’ feedback. Who knows, some tall fashion brands may notice this series of posts on my website, and together we may make a difference… even if just a tiny little bit! I know that one brand already took notice of my point: Belle Grande. Which is a start!
Once again, I reached out to the members of tall people’s groups on Facebook. My question did seem to touch a nerve for many and provoked an active, very interesting discussion. The majority of my readers’ verdict was: no, a tall woman does not need to be thin.
Feedback from members of Tall People United and Tall Clubs International
What do men think?
- Nooooo!!! The thing that makes people attractive is being happy and confident. That happens when you are at peace with your size and shape, no matter what that might be.
- A tall woman with curves: mmm living poetry!
- A confident sassy woman rocks whatever size she is!
- Noel’s comments directly on the blog raise very important issues – do check it out. Here are his most important points. “As a guy I can confirm that most guys like curves and softness, not the tin ribs, shapeless “boyish” forms, so adored by the fashion industry. I can relate to this image as “no shape”; it’s almost pre-pubescent and not attractive to me at least. Victoria’s Secret models on their lingerie advert similarly made me want to throw the TV out the window… If I sound passionate about this issue, it’s because my ex wife was anorexic (which wasn’t to do with wanting to be skinny/thin but control issues around stress and work). I also had a girlfriend years ago who was “big” and a bulimia sufferer, hers definitely was about body image! So having seen the harm it does and that girls do starve themselves to be tiny, I did want to chip in!!! That Long Tall Sally seem to be demanding this emphasis on thinness requires a radical rethink… Tall girls have enough to deal with being tall without being told they have to conform to stick like qualities too!! In my opinion, no model should be able to model if having less than 15% body fat – that’s the low end of professional athletic range… Fitness range is 21-24% (i.e. Healthy!!!) I wonder what dimensions and size this model is and if she and her colleagues come under pressure to be ever thinner? It’s good that plus size models are arriving mainstream and all are just as pretty or even more gorgeous than their slim counterparts!”
- What in the world….personal comfort in one’s own skin is the most attractive feature next to healthy. Persons who watch what they eat and are – health conscious within reason – exatrude confidence, care for self and for those they love. #ithinkintersofqualitynotquantity.
- There is a long and complicated answer to this defining the pros and cons of size…. or simply answer “No”. You are the size you’re most comfortable with. I hate having thin undersized models thrust upon us. LTS should be ashamed. It’s like saying all men should be lean and six packed, otherwise you’re not normal.
Absolutely not! It’s all in how you carry yourself and how you feel about yourself.
- Please do not lump all men into one category. In my experience, men love their women with or without curves. We just want you to be happy. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule, but as a general rule covering most of the men I know, it applies.
My late wife was 5’11” and we disagreed about her weight. I liked her figure when she was 150 and she liked her figure when she was 135 or under… I didn’t marry her for her figure, but what I am saying is the reverse is very much true for me… too thin and bony is worse (less attractive) than soft and round. I guess we each like what we like.How about just being tall? I just love tall Ladies!
What do tall women think?
Just because you have hips doesn’t make you fat. That is a body shape. Some body shapes are more desirable than others. Hour glass, apple, string bean, pear. Each shape you have to learn how to dress to compliment. Also each body shape comes in a skinny, healthy and unhealthy size.
- I used to think so (not because I liked it better but because I somehow felt less tall when I was thinner), I don’t anymore. We need more tall women in the media that aren’t size 0 models.
No. Even if I didn’t eat for 6 months, I could never be a size 8 because my shoulders are too broad, my rib age is too wide and my hips suit my skeleton. I can’t change the size of my skeleton!
- Being skinny is not something to focus on. People always tell me I’m lucky I’m tall because it’s less noticeable if I gain weight. But to fit into “skinny” standards, I’d have to lose like 50 lbs, and that’s not happening!!!
- Me neither. When I tell people I am a size 18, they gasp, as this is normally a very large size!
- Same! I wore size 13 jeans in high school and always thought that was weird because I was really thin, just had different proportions.
I piled the weight on in my late thirties. Size 16 to 18 now, and the only person who cares is my doctor.
The most amazing freedom happens when you are old enough to be allowed to be your natural self. Free to be unattractive to men!
Beauty of us tall women …. We have about 10-15 pounds to play with before people even notice our weight has changed one way or the other. Tall rules! We are blessed in that sense.
For me at 6’2″ 14/16 is a good size. I have no interest in being stick thin; besides, I like good food. My teen daughter is same height and 14/16. I’ve always stressed: everything in moderation, but she loves her height and does not have any negative body images. Although some girls at school try to make her feel insecure etc., if a female is naturally thin, that’s one thing, but many times that’s not the case.
- Elegant…we need to be elegant and classy…coz all eyes are on us!! #tallgirlzrule
And some other responses which prove how contradictory this issue is:
- I think for some of the clothes that are designed for tall women you are expected to be slim.
- True! Especially for pants.
- Some very good points, but there are tall people who are just naturally skinny/low body fat. Those models may just have that body type. I think the message is that there’s no NORMAL, everyone is different. People should try to be comfortable with the body they have and not be so concerned about what they “should” look like.
- Sadly in men’s eyes “yes”(as with any other height).
Bottom line: be proud of yourself, stand tall and let the world know you deserve their respect!