Angie K

Tall Women With Short Men: What Members of Facebook Tall Groups Think

When I was younger, I always thought I’d die single. Not because I was unsocial, ugly, stupid, or anything (at least I’d like to think I’m not), but simply because of my height. In the nineties, there weren’t many tall men around in my home country, and, me being me, I would never look at a man in “that” way if he was shorter.

Quite a few years on, I have been observing a significant shift in attitudes towards tall women. Or so it seems to me. It appears nowadays that there is not so much stigma attached to choosing a shorter man to be your life partner. I wonder whether I am wrong.

As a member of a few tall people’s groups on Facebook, I’ve been following numerous discussions on this topic with rising curiosity and decided to try and analyse them. Just how do people feel about this? Is it perceived as weird for a man to date/be married to a taller woman? Is it acceptable? Or maybe even fashionable?

Today, I will look at the comments made by tall group members on Facebook. Some of them may well read this and recognise their own words, but their anonymity is guaranteed. What I am interested in is opinions, not names. 🙂

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 So, what do women think about being with a shorter man?

The overwhelming majority of women report that they are happy to be with a shorter man. I won’t bore you with all comments posted on Facebook, as some of them are rather similar, and mostly/unanimously positive. For the purposes of this article, I have chosen to quote the best comments that got my attention (and, I must say, honest admiration!).

Happy to be with a shorter partner:
  • Comfortable. I liked it.
  • I’m 6’3″. My husband is 6′. He is my protector. It’s all in a man’s attitude or how he carries himself. He is definitely an Alpha male. That’s why we work together! It takes a man that’s very secure in his masculinity to be with a taller woman.
  • I am 6’1″. Shortest man I’ve ever had a date with – 5’1″. You have to maintain your sense of humour and the man definitely has to be a secure person. It definitely draws attention – not like I need any help. And not shallow. The struggle is real to not feel like you are huge when it is a small man you are on a date with.
  • I dated a couple of short guys. One 5′ 4″, one 5′ 6″. They loved that I was 6′. One wanted me to wear heels. If I had really cared for them, their height wouldn’t have mattered.
  • Dated plenty of shorter blokes. Only a problem if HE has a problem. Never an issue for me. Sometimes other people laugh. Who cares!?
  • Yes, if you are happy to constantly be analysed by others and asked the same tedious questions day in, day out.
  • 5″ difference. We’ve been married 17 years. If I want a tall hug, he just stands up the stairs a step.
  • I am married to one, much shorter and it’s fine.
  • I personally don’t care about height in a relationship. If we have good chemistry, that’s all that matters.
  • Been with my amazing 5’9″ husband for 25 years. I’m 6′. Don’t make height an issue. Love is the best protector.
  • I’m 6’3″, dated a few guys who were an inch shorter, but generally it has always been 6’6″ guys. If the guy is shorter, he’s gotta have have a great charisma and massive confidence.
  • It feels weird. I feel like the men and lots of people stare but I don’t want to potentially miss out on an amazing person because of shallow reasons. The shortest was 12 cm shorter than me.
  • I’m 6′ and my partner is 5’8″. He is very comfortable with my height and our height difference – to the point that he is happy for me to wear heels if we go out.
  • I had a partner for nearly 8 years who was 5’8″ and I’m 6’3″. Didn’t bother us. But is REALLY nice to have a partner the same height. We fit together better. In more ways than one!
  • I am 6’1″ and dating guys who are 5’6″-5’7″ many times. It is actually very sexy for me to take on the not usual role… be in the more dominant side and just feel like a goddess.
  • I always liked being with shorter guys.
Yes, but no thanks:
  • I’ve dated shorter, but prefer not to.
  • I’ve dated a couple of guys who where 2-3 inches shorter. I don’t really prefer it. I like super tall guys over 6’5″. I’ve dated a few but don’t know very many. Sometimes choices are limited. Beggars can’t be choosers…!
  • I don’t MIND shorter, but I’d much prefer taller.
  • I am 6’1″. I was babysitting two of my friends’ kids and they were with me in church one day. I had a friend of mine who is older than me by four years but 10″ shorter than me, sitting beside me. It felt like I had three children with me, not two. Yes, height matters. I’ve also dated shorter men, 5’8″ and 5’10”. Both were nice guys, but I could never be with them. One didn’t mind unless I wore heels and the other, well, only loved it because my breasts were at his eye level. Let’s just say it never got very far with either of them.
  • I have dated shorter guys, even married one. But I prefer to date taller men.
So so:
  • It felt weird at times.
No:
  • I hate the “stares”.
  • I tried once. I can’t do it. Hence why I’m still single.
  • Personally I say no. That’s just me. I like to feel protected and embraced and if you can’t reach me, it’s just not gonna work.
  • I am not attracted to anyone smaller than me.
  • Well, I’ve been with short guys before and it was awful, to be honest. I’m tired of being looked at like mutt and Jeff and I’m tired of wearing the pants all the time. I want a big guy that actually makes me feel like a woman, not a short one that makes me feel masculine.
  • It is a problem for me. I really am not attracted to shorter men. Not to be rude or bluntly offensive; they just don’t cut it for me.
  • I got a lot of abuse the two times I dated shorter guys. Abuse from random strangers. Never again. I got over it, was spat at by a group of short girls one night out with a shorter guy. The girls said, “Why you taking the short guys off us, go find another tall freak to get with!” Another time I just got a random guy come up to me and he said to the guy I was with, “Mate, don’t date giants, it’s just wrong, find someone normal.” Then I got just got the usual nasty tall people comments because my height was more obvious while I was stood next to a shorter guy. But it’s fine, guy I’m with now if 6’4 so I’m okay.
Men’s answers

The vast majority of men share their love and admiration for tall women.

Like being with a taller women:
  • I’d love to find a woman taller than myself.
  • Sure, I’m 5’10” and the taller women I’ve dated all felt protected in my presence. I carry total confidence and power in my personality, I’ve been told. In the end they never had a problem with my height, even if they might have in the beginning.
  • These women one day will understand that their focus on height only hurts their love life. Love, the right love is what matters. Not how you feel or perceive about his ability to protect based on height. A taller man gives no more security because he is tall. Common sense should over rule that inaccurate feeling. Good luck out there, tall ladies!
  • I am 5’10”, usually date women taller than me. I love the attention we get. Very comfortable and used to it.
  • I dig tall women, but I rarely see them out. But I’d definitely date a tall woman!
No:
  • 6’7″ here. It is simply more comfortable and natural with a woman closer to my height.
  • I feel uncomfortable seeing taller women with shorter men.
Some really interesting thoughts:
  • Yes, insecurity seems to plague a lot of people: short and tall. I guess I can thank my insane humour for diverting development of that trait. I was the shorter of the kids: brother is 6’5.5″, dad is 6’8″. I grew up in Louisiana, so you can imagine this Euro/Balkan kid compared to the height of the average 5’0″ Arcadian Frenchmen. It makes me lol just thinking about it. I look like a woman fighting the tide when I walk through a crowd here. I raise my arms up as to not elbow anyone in the face.
  • I personally feel like shorter than average men who actively seek taller than average women tend to fetishize (yep it’s a word now) us. Or it’s over compensating: there’s a sense of “am I this guy’s version of a raised truck?”

This can be just the beginning of a longer conversation: about the stigma associated with being a tall woman. Nowadays, when body confidence is a very hot topic, there is rising interest in tall women, their liberation from social expectations and prejudice.

The internet has recently been flooded by photos of celebrities where the man is shorter than his partner: could this be the newest fashion trend in relationships?

More reading on this topic:

On balance, the scales heavily weight towards positive attitude for being with a taller woman. How liberating is this!

If you have your views on this, your thoughts are, as always, warmly welcome and anxiously expected!

58 comments

  2. I always wanted to find a taller guy, until I fell for a shorty. I don’t even see it anymore; I see my husband, a great loving, caring, generous guy, and that is all that matters.

    The ‘I need to feel protected’ argument is invalid to me; it’s not like we live in the stone age anymore and carry bow and arrow around. Also nowadays women are always very quick to say that we ‘women’ are so independent and can take care of ourselves. Indeed, we can. good on us. So we don’t need a guys protection anyway. It’s more important to be a team, help each other fight the battles that life may bring, but you do not need a taller guy for that.

    I do think a lot of girls (and guys) very quickly rule out a big group of potential partners by never dating a shorter guy / taller girl and that is a shame. In the end it’s the connection with each other and the love for each other that counts.

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    • Thanks very much for your comment, I was hoping you would see this post, as I remembered you when I wrote it. 🙂 You are right, we don’t necessarily need to feel protected in this day and age!

      Liked by 1 person

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  4. This is very interesting that you should post this. I am pretty tall and my husband is 6’4″. My boys, who are now teenagers, and enormous tell me everyday how much they appreciate their genetics, being tall and solid, because they are both body builders (17 year old is 6’5″, 18 year old is 6’4″). They tell me when they marry (which I hope is quite some distance off in the future) they will marry tall women, because they do not want to dilute the tall gene, by marrying significantly shorter people. They said it, not me. But it is an interesting point, when you ponder it.

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    • Well, I have dated two men shorter than me so am not against it, but married a taller one. Our kids are tall for their age and will probably be at least our height (me – 6’4″, hubby – 6’5″).

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      • Wow, you guys are super tall. I used to hate being tall when I was younger – but I love being tall now, and I am certainly not as tall as you guys. My Mum is 6’1”, so is my Dad, I am assuming that was super tall, when they were younger, back in the 50s. Shoes are still a pain to find even today (only thing I hate about being tall).

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m 6′ married to a guy who is 5’9. He’s 8 years older than me, so it evens things out a bit hahaha! I’ve been told before that we look weird together – and it did affect me briefly, for about a minute! But to be honest, I totally forget that I’m taller than him! He doesn’t have a problem, at all – in fact he would love me to wear higher heels (I don’t, purely because I can’t walk in them!) I found it very interesting reading all the comments.

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    • Thanks for commenting, Louise! I found it very interesting myself, which is why I decided to compile the comments. When I dated a shorter and older man, I was same as you: only bothered me to start with, and was then fine. I hope you will find some other posts to like on the blog; feel free to have a look at the “Tall Fashion” and “Tall Talk” categories.

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  9. What an interesting post! I’m six feet tall and have been dating men both shorter and taller than me. I almost married a shortie — he was the shortest man I have dated and I was sceptical at first, but then I fell in love with his personality and no longer noticed the height difference. We made use of stairs and sidewalks for kissing (or he stood on his tiptoes, which is not that sexy…) and when sitting and lying down, you don’t notice the height difference anyway…

    I’d say it depends on the self confidence of the man — some men, possibly those that are into long legs, love being seen with a tall woman, while it makes others feel like less of a man. I think some men think of it as dating the closest thing they’ll ever get to a model.

    While I have nothing against shorter men, I definitely am focusing on the taller ones now that I live in Norway again and have more tall guys to choose from. There’s something to be said for having a man’s arm around your shoulders (not your waist) when you are walking down the street and him being able to lift you (for fun or in case of emergency). It just makes me feel more protected in a cave woman kind of way, which naturally I don’t need, but love to feel. But at the same time, if I were to meet a wonderful shorter man, I’d go for it! 😉

    The key to living life — not only dating shorter men — it to ignore other people’s comments about you. It’s none of their business to comment on your life choices and you should not let their mean words have any effect on you. As long as you aren’t hurting anybody else, go ahead and live your life in a way that makes you happy, shortie or not!

    Anett | Tall Girl’s Fashion

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    • Hi Annet, thanks so much for taking the time to write this comment! I agree with you 1000%! I myself have been in both situations and do prefer to be with a man who is taller than me, but wouldn’t reject a man just because he is shorter.

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  10. My two cents is WHO IN THE HELL CARES, I’m average height of six foot my self, but if I found someone taller than me and we really hit it off and I going to let a few inches bother me? No, life is too short to be that judgemental.

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  11. I love the article, very well written! I do wish I knew how to copy/paste my friend requests here… It would be the only way to share how being “fetishized” because of your height feels. Having men treat you like that… It feels disgusting. I have been very happy with men shorter than me, but it was different than the fetish-men. I’d love to see a blog discussing those who friend request us with photos like this!

    https://scontent-atl1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xat1/v/t1.0-9/1545624_1475541626059331_7806441596391239021_n.jpg?oh=ad1fd153e522156f4ef0d6f2bee5392f&oe=55F141CA

    https://scontent-atl1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/995841_1395792307355053_624232001_n.jpg?oh=c6eeed4c60bcca016ea826d0ae7e686c&oe=55F6064A

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    • This is a sweet way of describing it. Unfortunately, hasn’t happened to me for about 15 years. ☺ Would you excuse my curiosity if I asked how tall you are? Just wondering if our criteria as to who is tall are the same. 🙂

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  13. It took me a very long time to be comfortable about how I look

    I have always been on the heavy side

    My weight goes up and down like a rollercoaster

    As I gotten older I became more and more comfortable

    It was my inner self that matters to me most

    Thank you for visiting

    My email has been bad

    As always Sheldon

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  16. Ive met plenty of tall women who have found me attractive the tallest one i dated for a while was a lovely girl of 6ft1 im 5ft7 and i finished with her for a girl who is 5ft1 who is my beautiful wife tall or short it dosn’t matter.

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  17. This blog made me think of my early 20’s, as I was rejected by the foxes who chased after the Alfa males and showed no more interest in me than glancing at a blade of grass next to the highway traveling at 75 MPH. And this made me think about my own personal experiences with tall women, a slightly different story from this blog, but same result due to being a Beta male.

    One 6’ tall girl, in a gym, talked to me with such a look of disinterested she couldn’t have looked or acted more uninterested if she had wanted to. I approached another, who I estimated being 5 foot 9 or 10 inches. She got angry with me for even asking her out and stuck her finger in my face informing me she didn’t date shorter men. On line, I met a girl 5’11”, and we worked out together once in my apartment complex gym, after that she did not return my two phone calls, there could be others, too, I just don’t remember them all. Now, you may say the rejections were because of my looks, that could be true, but as I approached girls closer to my height, my success rate went way up.

    This blog also made me think about the rejections by tall girls, and it angered me, but not at the time the rejection. Only years later, when I actually tallied them up, did I get angry. I was rejected not because I was fat, bald, ugly, deformed or had a rotten personality. No. The reason I was rejected by all of these women was my height. Not a one even bothered to put forth the effort to get to know me much less date me. (I did date one girl for 3 years when I was in college, who was 5’8”.)

    I did date three women who were significantly taller than me, two at 5’11” and one at 5’10”. (I am 5’8”) And all three happened to be 32 years of age, which is more than a coincidence and a tie in with this blog. No doubt, all three wanted a tall Alfa male, and lost, so a safe stable Beta male was the next best thing in their 30’s, for I certainly didn’t grow any taller and I doubt I got better looking. These women were past their prime and worried. I was in my late 30’s, at this time of my life, after being married for 10 years. It was also at this time, I could easily date younger women, and I did. When I was 38, my first girlfriend was 27, the next was 27 and the next was 24 who became my second wife. I never dated with any intent of marrying a woman my age. Younger women had no issue with me dating them, and I certainly had no issue dating them. I remember going to singles events and seeing very pretty women, who were my age, who I know 15 years earlier wouldn’t have given me the time of day. And even now, may have looked better than myself, but now it was me who had no interest in approaching them. I did not want to take time and money away from pursuing younger women. Why go old, when I could go young?

    I am now married and have 4 sons. I have 3 degrees, and I have co-authored 2 US patents. I could have provided a good life to any girl. I wanted a taller girl because of the physical turn on and to for fill one of my desires, yet not one single tall girl (in her 20’s) gave me a chance. I was turned down consistently and without a second thought. SO, IF YOU FIND YOURSELF IN YOUR LATE 20’S OR EARLY 30’S WITH NO PROSPECT OF A HUSBAND OR CHILDREN, YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF. There were men like me, who wanted a leggy female, but they, like me, were never accorded the opportunity. (This also applies to average height women, too) And the reality is that the vast majority of tall women will not even consider a shorter man until it is too late. You would think it would be obvious that if you included shorter males in your suitor selection, your odds would increase of finding a mate, for there are a lot more short and medium height males than there are taller ones. So my advice would be to accept the advances of all men and get to know them. I, who would have relished the opportunity of having curvy broad hips and a tapered waist to hold all night and to make love to into the early hours of the morning, was never, not once, even given a chance to start a relationship. Thus, throw away the yardstick, for you may find someone like me, who would love to share his life and love with a leggy lady.

    By the way, another tie in with this article and be found at this web site.

    http://shortguycentral.com/P-57/beware-of-the-reformed-heightist-woman

    This writer tells about women’s rejections in his 20’s, only to find that women now chased after him, in spite of his height, now he is in his early 30’s. HE WARNS OF THE DANGERS OF THE “REFORMED HEIGHTEST WOMAN” WHO ARE DESPERATE AFTER WASTING THEIR LIFE CHASING THE ALFA MALE AND NOW WANT A STABLE BETA WITH A STEADY PAY-CHECK.

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  18. I’m a short man who dated and has been in relation with taller women. Looking at the topic from the masculine point of view, in my opinion there are three different kind of men:

    a) the “never in my life” group. Those men who will never date a taller woman even if she were the last one in the world. I suppose that if he did he would die instantly;

    b) the “ to and fro” group. They can be attracted by a taller woman, but they are always held back by stereotypes and lack of confidence. So they begin to say: “You’re pretty but too tall for me”… “I like you, but I feel uncomfortable walking near you”… “How do you feel near a shorter man?” etc. etc.

    c) the “taller women admirers group”. Within this group the range is very wide. You can find rude/idiot men and real gentlemen who appreciate the tall women’s charme.

    Thank you and sorry for my bad English

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      • I agree with Silvano, maybe for the last group I divided it in 2 groups:

        1. guys with only a fetish of tall women

        2. admirers of tall women

        In my case I dated few tall women, here in Argentina there are few taller women even I’m just 5’5″ tall, but I would say tall women are more confident that short ones and that’s a plus.

        When I was 13 years old I was barelly 4’9″ tall while girls were going 5′ and taller, I really felt tiny and I think girls looked me more like a child than a teenager, but soon I dated a girl, she was about 5’2″, we got all sights but I learned to live with that.

        After 19 years old there were few girls taller than me, in my classroom there were only 2 taller girls, mostly were in the range 5’2″ – 5’5″ and taller girls were about 5’8″ – 5’9″ tall and I dated the tallest one 🙂

        Well I think it’s not about height but about self confidence and attitude, anyway I’d like to date a woman over 6′ 😉

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      • It’s interesting that you think that tall women are confident, as this is not usually the norm. It is always interesting to hear what my readers think, thank you!

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      • I supouse it depends on every woman, but at least where I live tall women look more confident, maybe because they know they break the rule, they’re taller, they feel better being tall, they can look down to other people, who knows

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      • That’s great. 🙂 I have always had a confidence issue and most tall women I do have it too, but it is a whole wide world out there!

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  19. Referring to my personal experience, I can say it’s not necessary to have a great self confidence in order to have a good relationship between a tall woman and a short man. I’m a bit shy and in general not a very confident man, but I had a great and lasting relationship with a tall woman who was also shy and unconfident about her height. She used to say : “Despite our different height, we are twins separated at bith”

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  21. Since I was blessed with the right genes and as a beautiful very tall woman 6’4” i am not embarrassed or ashamed to be this tall and in fact love wearing my stilettos which will take me to another stratosphere were even tall very goodlooking men become intimidated with my extreme stature and every so often a real man usually around 5’10” will take control and really rock my boat and my very long sexy body will become putty and needless to say the sex is great.

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  22. Why women care so much about a man’s height has been always a puzzlement to me? I would think a man’s character would be the most important thing in establishing a relationship, but a lot of women think differently. I would rank love, most important, above everything else, but after visiting various dating sites, I am proven wrong. Could this be the root cause of divorce?

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    • This is a very good question, Frank! I don’t know why, we do seem to care about the height issue. Perhaps this is because of traditional values and ideas hammered into out heads by many generations and centuries?

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