How Not To Chat Up A Tall Girl

Being a tall blogger is great, but comes at a price: receiving unsolicited messages. A fair amount of them. Not that it bothers me, as they all go into “Filtered Requests” automatically. But it is striking to see just how inadequate men can get when it comes to contacting a girl that they like. Come on, really, is this how you chat up a tall girl? Here are some blatant examples – to make my readers gasp. Or laugh! All punctuation has been preserved and messages are 100% authentic.

The “Hello” Chat Up Lines
  • HELLO (Someone is trying to get my attention – capital letters, eek) 
  • Sup
  • Hi. Hiws u. Hows u
  • Hi. There?
  • Hi … can I ask you question ?
  • Hey Angelina can I talk to you
  • And this one wouldn’t be too bad… but the spelling is badly letting him down: hi ANgelia. how r u??
  • Hola linda
  • Hi tall lady
  • Hii beautiful
  • Hii beautiful lady how r u
  • Hello Add me Please Okey
  • hello. disturb?

The Annoying Height Related Chat Up Lines
  • Hi. excuse me. how tall are you?
  • are you a tall girl? omg
  • Hi R u tall girl?
  • Size 11? Really? Oops:)
  • Hey what shoe size r u?
  • How tall are you miss ?
  • Hello 6’4″ woman ? (This one actually bothered doing his homework!)
  • Hello Angelina. And Thank you. You ré taller Than me lol
  • Hi it me if u like short man iam here I want ti talk with u !
  • How tall are u
  • You’re tall as me 😀 😀 😀
  • What’s your height angel???
  • hieee. dear. h r u. u look very tall
  • Hello i’m chris , would you like to use one of my stereo decks some weeks to relax your bare feet on it and rub and massage your bare feet over it a lot and even stand on it barefoot please ,i would love to have lot of bare feetmarks on it and your feetsmell please you not have to care if it get dammaged by your strong feet even if you dammage it slowly with your bare feet for your own fun and use it to pose on it barefoot for pics would be great too i love big female feet on my stereo , they can easy handle it
  • U r saying tht only tall girl allow in group… Tell r u really tht tall? (Getting into an argument with me already?)
  • hi angelina how tall are you lol
The Admiration Chat Up Lines
  • wow nice
  • Cok guzelsin angelina (and what exactly makes you think I speak Turkish?)
  • U r cute
  • princess good name
  • Hi , I saw ur pic , u r beautiful , if u like u can send Mssge , my wechat , tango , whatsapp , viber and skype are…
  • Hi Angelina , love your height your such a hottie
  • Very sexy lady ?
  • I don’t usually do this but this time I just had to
  • Your’resume a nice looking 6’4 lady Angelina
  • wow gorgeous. how tall are you?
If She Doesn’t Respond, She Is Not Interested – But Let’s Check Again… And Again… And Again!
  • U thr. A month later: “Hi”. Another week later: “Hi”. 10 months later: “Hi. How tall r u”. Two months later: “হি”. At what point do you think he will get the idea I am not really interested? 
  • Hello you is well. A month later – same question, no improvement in grammar: “Hello you is well angelina”
  • Hello can I ask you a question?? (and two hours later: “??”)
  • please add me. 3 months later: “Hello, please reply me”
  • Hi miss angelina. How are you? (21/7/2015). Hi miss tall gilr how are you? How tall are you? (6/2/2016) hi miss im niko nice to meet you. (13/11/2016)
  • Hi how r u. How tall u r ? (1/6/2015). Hi how r u (19/6/2015). Hi (30/6/2015). Hi. Hello (26/7/2015). Hi. How r u (22/8/2015). Hi. U thrre (8/11/2015). Can we chat (11/11/2015). Hi how r u. U there. U there. (9/10/2016). No word since then. I wonder if he may have got the message… or died??
  • hi i am from india & iam 5.8 tall men & i like tall girls. how tall you, pls add me (2/1/2016) good morning how are you. i am sports teacher from India. i am big fan of tall girls pls add me (22/12/2016)
  • Hey gorgeous. There? Five days later: “!?”
  • Love your profile picture you look great love the height difference I’m 5ft6 you are 6ft? (25/05/2017) Hi Angelina whats it like being a tall women in a mans world i’m 5ft5 tall and a man (27/06/2017) Hi Angeina love your height of 6ft4 awesome (6/7/2017) Hi Angelina your legs look enormouly long in the dress from phase eight you look great (14/07/2017)
  • Hi (7/12/2016) Hi Angelina (17/12/2016) Hallo (30/07/2017) Hallo (11/07/2017)
  • Helloooo (3/7/2017) Hello (20/7/2017) Helloo (22/8/2017)
  • Yes (5/6/2016). Man i hope ur aware of gts (24/12/2016)
  • Tinggi badan berapa? (I am ever so sorry I don’t speak your language and cannot be even bothered to Google to check what language it is!)
I even got a poem (which no doubt has been sent to a number of other tall women across the globe):

pritty is beauty no beauty is pretty no pritty is no beauty love is beauty loving is beautful living is good understandi ng is the best your eyes are like ice when it melts it is cool water it makes every one feel cool so you make every one cool and make everybody happy your smile is ur look your looks is ur smile your eyes are like moon in the sky your lookway down is like lighting in sky and your way of approch is like me in the heaven and the way you talk it like sweet hope is poem is good when i look at you i have to look up to you

P.S. If you recognise yourself as the author of any of these messages – apologies for quoting your correspondence, but your chat up line is lame. And, in your consolation, you did remain anonymous.

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